Holiday Damage Plan 2017

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“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times for waistlines” Paleo Guru, Olive D. Meetz speaking of the holidays.


The holidays are upon us like a pair of tight pants, fitted dress/pantsuit from smaller memories of yesteryear. Hopefully, it is because you now squat double bodyweight and can spin like Rapunzel on an assault bike. It’s the time of year when you are segregated from the gym family to spend some much needed time with the immediate family to unwind, recharge, share nostalgia, meet the new additions to the family, congratulate relatives on accomplishments and reminisce about the beautiful memories of loved ones lost. Take the time for the present, practice gratitude and use these moments as healings session from the hard-charging, the nonstop beating of everyday life. Minimize cells phones, social media scrolling and football debates to have a conversation and learn something new about a relative or friend. Ask questions instead of making statements. Show affection instead of annoyance. Suck it up and listen to someone you don’t get along with even if they sound like Ben Stein reading a dictionary overusing “like” because they really don’t know what they are talking about. Kiss the old ones on the head, because you don’t know when or if you will see them again. Help cook, clean, and walk people to their car. Hold the baby so their parents can have some peace. Be the person your friends and family can depend on. Be the person you want to be. Take the winding road of various experience instead of the straight and comfortable interstate. Try to benefit everyone you contact. “Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.” – Marcus Aurelius  Lastly, eat healthy foods…what…



There are two messages in this article…

  1. Spend time with family and friends you hold dear. Put them first. See above.
  2. Effectively minimize the damage that will possibly be done when partaking of the holiday feasts laid upon you. See below.



Healthy food, you say? “But Thanksgiving, it is! Smell apple pies, we will!” – Yoda. We all know there are scrumptious family recipes and other sugar and gluten-filled food that we love to shove in our tongue homes. Below, we will go over 4 simple tips to help be as preventative to destroying the gut microbiome as well as not moving up a weight class in a couple days time. Here we go…



  1. Thou Shall Not Hath The Right To Be A Food Elitist
    • We all know this person. Hell, I’ve been this person and for it, I suck. But, steer away because it will sabotage the true reason for holidays. It goes something like this, “HA HA HA, infidels. While you are over there eating your nutrient poor, sugar-laden, gluten-filled waist-gaining food, if you can call it that, I’ll be over here with food as plain as my personality.” They think to themselves with their identity mask on, “I am the picture of health and happiness,” as they fight back tears of sadness and segregation. Don’t do this. Eat well or don’t, just don’t be an eggplant.
    • This is the healthiest choice maintaining the lining of your gut.
  2. Thou Shall Hath Options To The Food Kingdom
  • Thou Could Eat Whole Foods.
  • Depending on your willpower or choice you can eat at most dinners and have decent choices.
  • Pick a protein – turkey, ham or some other blood-pumping, succulent meat to enjoy. Protein is the king of satiety, it’s least fattening and gainz (hate this word). #sorrynotsorry #hatethathashtagtoo #blessed #again
  • Pick a veggie. If you’re having a hard time finding these, use Google.
  • Pick a fruit or starch. Sweet “taters”, ‘taters, fresh fruit or whatever the chef offers.
  • Throw some Kerrygold (butter) in the starch.
  1. Eat Big And Allow Thyself One Meal.

  • Intermittent Fasting. If you haven’t tried IF, look it up; eating all your calories in a certain time window or in one or two bigger meals a day. Click HERE for search results from Dr Rhonda Patrick.
  • This is great if eating the whole foods mentioned above, but if you are planning on eating badly then this will be a way to get your calories in, fix for your devil tooth and feel full. Just be prepared for the crash afterwards.Terrible for the gut doe.
  1. Thou Shalt Know Thy Macros
  • If you follow Zone, RP, IIFYM, or any other diet that counts calories – do that. MyFitnssPal, a pocket scale and a little more time and you can come close to hitting your cals, even if you do indulge in the naughty list of foods.
  • Yes, you will be the weird one at dinner.
  1. Thou Shall Get Thy Pump Before Thy Bloat…And Get Thy Pump Again After Thy Bloat
  • Swole Patrol. This takes me way back to circa 2010 via the Four Hour Body by Tim Ferriss. Picture this…..Two 6 ft+ 230lb+ males at the Pizza Inn parking lot repping out 50-100 air squats before filling our plates with pizza of all varieties (regular to dessert), and devouring everything – like the banks did to the economy in 2008. Later, rolling our chest-stomachs out of the restaurant to return to the parking lot to do 50-100 more air squats or pushups. Silly, sure. Effective, yes.
  • When you do any type of exercise that involves using muscle glycogen, it’s harder to store excess carbohydrates as fat. Muscle glycogen is sugar stored in muscles for later energy. If you deplete it, then it needs to be replenished. Hence, this is why we were after massive quad pump before and after. Depletion and restoration and depletion. There is a lot more science behind this, but we will keep it simple. Google: Tim Ferriss for this hack.
  • Don’t give yourself rhabdo. Do something like 50-100 of a bodyweight exercise before and after. Should have a burn, but not Tiny Tim’d.
  1. If Thou Falleth From Thy Nutritional Journey, Thou Shalt Get Back On The Path Immediately
  • Don’t use this as a time to burn the healthy kingdom to its foundation. After you have your indulgence, start back with the basics of health. Sleep, eat healthy, workout and surround yourself with a community of like-minded people. Don’t let it – a dietary deviation –  turn into a week-long bender on ice cream, cake, and pie, breaded meats and cola.
  • Remember your goals and long-term health.


Hopefully, this will help you steer around the landmines ahead on the nutritional freeway.

This holiday season we are thankful for the best community in the world, you all. A glass raises to you with the sincerest thanks for the memories of another year and making the world a better place. Cheers, Outliers.